Now imagine that feeling and add the realization of that force being yourself. That is kind of where I am mentally today.
My whole life, I knew I was supposed to do something really cool and fun and so far I have had a lot of experiences that were, but my life as a whole was not. At least it wasn't to me.
Now, I don't know why or when this happened but I have this weird image of myself that I just can't seem to shake. It is like the outside that everyone else sees and my insides do not match. Maybe it is a lack of encouragement or feedback from my peers, maybe an insecurity rooted in my absent father figure or maybe I am just a weirdo. in any case, my entire life, I felt as though I was waiting for this moment of greatness, some magical event that would transform my life.
Every so often, I'll have this stroke of genius of an idea and think to myself: "That would be fantastic, you should do that!"
Then there will be this other thought in my head: "But you don't know the first thing about that, how would yo do it, where do you start? You might as well not do it at all."
Basically the story of my life, right? So I go back to waiting for that amazing thing to happen to me, you know that thing that I am not entirely sure of what it is.
Fast forward to today.
For some time now I have been watching videos on Youtube. I watch videos on natural hair care, DYI videos and just random things recommended by the site...It has become my nightly routine. A lot of times it is better than TV. Scratch that - It IS better than TV.
So, today it hit me! I keep watching all these cool people and listening to their stories rather than telling my own! If I find them and their lives fascinating, why wouldn't they or someone else for that matter, find my life fascinating?
So, therefore I have decided to start making videos. "Of what?" you may ask. Well that has yet to be determined but I can tell you one thing:
It is going to be amazing!
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/thomashawk/542372225/">Thomas Hawk</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">cc</a>
